Skip

I was filling some online form and Sid was watching it intently. All of a sudden he moved a little away from me and started jumping and waving his hand up and down. Little surprised, I asked him what happened. He happily pointed to me the boldly written word next to the submit button - SKIP.
It took a while for me to stop laughing. I joined the fun and we skipped together.

Love you Sid :)

Candle light dinner and Carrot soup

Sid loves candle light dinners at home. It is one sure fire way to get him to the table and enjoy his dinner. Here is one with carrot soup to start with :)




Carrot Soup
 

The soup is an easy one to make. Sauté carrots with a dash of ginger and puree them. Add milk (with coriander if you prefer) with salt/pepper to taste. That's it, you have a brightly colored healthy soup ready!

Blogathon

The last 29 days (well, I started on the 3rd) was exciting to say the least.  I was so involved in the blogathon that I forgot it ends today! Had a couple of ideas for the next few days and have posted them all today. Also, that should compensate for the 2 days I missed :)

Writing regularly was something I had long forgotten, thanks to this challenge, I am renewing it.  Many thanks to Ani for giving me this new direction and a huge round of applause to Maya for this initiative, without which this blog wouldn't have seen 30 posts even in a year!

Blogathon has given me more reasons to reflect on the day and to pause and absorb the happenings around me. Have also been lucky to get to know some amazing blogs out there.

Altogether a wonderful start to the wonderful year ahead!

 

Park and Play

Sid's sleep pattern has changed in the last one week. He has clearly told me not to ask him to sleep in the afternoon. So we are spending a lot of uninterrupted time together. Despite the fact that my me time has gone for a toss, I am completely enjoying it!
The last couple of days was spent building this car park (ideas from here). The ramp is quite steep, but Sid doesn't seem to mind.

 

Car Park

 

It still needs some colors which we will add in the next couple of days. It was quite easy to build and Sid enjoyed all the cutting and pasting parts.

Letters from Dad

My Dad loves to write letters. He prefers the pen and paper to emails or blogs.  When I stepped out for my first job, I remember so looking forward to his letters even though I used to call him everyday. He still writes letters to me whenever he feels like. He generally attaches a newspaper article or anything he finds interesting for me to read. I attribute my love for languages to him. He is a voracious reader and I have grown up always seeing him read something. He was first introduced to English when he was in his sixth grade and  he immediately fell in love with it. While he flunked in other subjects, he would top in English. He cannot remember his breakfast, but can reel out quotes of Somerset Maughum. Such is his love for English. His letters are, I believe, his way of making me feel special.

Ever since Sid got the concept of letters, Dad has started writing to him. Last year it was sent to me, to be read out to him. Now he addresses it to him although I have to still read it out. It is a proud moment for Sid when he gets his 'own'  letter. He will keep asking "Is it for me? for me?". Couple of weeks ago I told Dad that Sid can now manage to read 3 letter words in capitals. So he sent this special post card for Sid yesterday.

Sid was as always excited to receive it. When asked what achacha has written, he said "Lots of 1-2-3-4 mamma!". Of all the 50 odd words in the card, he loved the circled numbers. Poor Dad, he did not even remember the numbers alongside the words and insisted he had written only alphabets and not numbers. It took him a while to get what Sid meant and we had a hearty laugh. He keeps telling it wont be long before Sid gets into the art of letter writing. I truly wish he does unlike his lazy mamma.

I am off to buy some postcards for Sid to reply (or colour?). Love you Dad and love you Sid.

Matching socks

Yesterday Sid wanted to wear one green and one red sock. Quickly brushing aside his request, I told it would look odd and asked him to choose either one of them. He just stood there apparently not liking my idea. Within seconds I felt guilty for even suggesting it. I have never tried it in all my life and I am now conditioning my child to follow suit. So we went ahead and implemented Sid's plan. To me, the mismatched pair on his legs, looked very very cute.  He happily went to school. I  was curious to know the reaction there, but looks like hardly anyone noticed.

Today when I was looking for his socks, DH jokingly asked if we were not going to be creative. And so as one happy family we mismatched the socks and enjoyed the result.

A little fun for the feet!

All play

After reading Veena's post, I realized I have not recorded any of our play time activities. So here it comes.

Our house is relatively TV free, except on weekends when we choose to watch something specific. Sid hardly watches television these days. He does get his share of Thomas and friends and Charlie Lola from you tube though. So most of his (and our) time is spent playing. Although we call it playing, I think it is just children's way of living. Besides the usual games with cars, trains, racing tracks, blocks,bubbles and other toys, we do a lot of pretend play.

1. Once Sid settles with the train tracks, he self talks/enacts the Thomas train stories. His wooden tracks and trains are his favorites. Mine too.

2. Water play. When he was younger, all it took to feed him was a bowl of water and spoon. Now I don't let him play a lot with water (unless it is in the bathroom) for obvious reasons.

3. You can mostly see him on his small red pickup truck pretending to deliver goods, vegetables, fruits and anything. I have even found left over biscuits in it.

5. He totally loves his cycle. In the initial days,  he would commute between rooms only in his cycle. (Really!). He used to ask why he cannot sleep on his cycle. Thankfully, he got over it.  He still plays the paper/fruits vendor on the cycle. Once he puts it down on the floor, he becomes the mechanic.

6. Rubber tyre - Last year we got a used rubber tyre from a mechanic shop. Needless to say, he enjoys playing with it.

7. Another of his favorite is sitting inside an empty tub. He then pretends to be in a boat dragging it along - sometimes I do the dragging. I am fitter, thanks to this exercise.

8. We also have our daily dose of  hide and seek game. Every time Papa comes from office, Sid likes to hide. In fact I have to wait till he finds a good spot to hide, before I get the door. It is pure joy to watch him when we pretend to hunt for him.

9. We have a family game called - bum and nose. No red alerts. This started when he was around 2 years old and it is the same as run and catch, only that before we run we act like we have taken the bum or nose. Pretty interesting game. Source DH of course. It started as a family (read Mama/Papa/Sid) game and now has become an extended family and friends game.

10. Evenings are play time with friends in the apartment park/play area while I take my (slow) walks.

11. We have one wall in our bedroom completely covered with chart papers to encourage Sid's artistic skills. He paints very rarely, but likes to get us to paint/draw while he watches and comments. Anyways, walls saved.

12. In the mornings, when I am busy cooking, Sid entertains himself with a few cups, filter, sieve, water and some colorful dals. He also loves rolling the chapattis.

I enjoyed writing this post musing over each of his games. 

Anniversary special

DH is not at all the romantic kind. But the one thing he religiously does is ensure that we be together on our wedding anniversary. This year was no different. He took off today and we spent the day together. We dropped Sid at his school by 10 am and  just wandered around soaking the sun, laughing and chatting. We walked a lot, took the metro, checked out a new furniture/cloth shop and bought a kurta for DH which was long overdue. While he was busy paying the bills, I picked this up to match my dress.

Got a little something for our little one and by 1pm we were back at Sid's school. He had by then flashed our anniversary news. His teachers happily came out to wish me. I was glad that he did not tell we are getting married today (as that was what I heard him tell in the morning). The outing ended with lunch at our favorite restaurant and a short walk with Sid swinging in our hands. It was a very relaxed pleasant fun filled day with my dear ones.

G, Thank you for everything. Seriously, you have kept you every promise in our marriage and I cannot ask for more! Love you da.

 

Noni Noni

The word I am very much in love with is "Noni Noni". No, it is not a health drink or a Spanish verb. It is just a random word my son uses when he is happy/lovey-dovey or in a sleepy mood. He would hold my hair, squint his eyes, pout his lips and say them. I totally melt when he does it.

This holding on to my hair is, I believe, a vestige from breast feeding days. For the first two years, he  breast fed to sleep, patting my arms.  Then it was just holding on to the few strings left on my head.  Now he goes to sleep on my arms, occasionally patting my head, saying 'noni noni'. I do get annoyed when he occasionally pulls it hard. When he twists and turns in his sleep, he reaches out for my hair. We both enjoy this routine.

It wont be long before his "I love you's", "Noni noni"s, "Ekku" (carry me), "why" will grow out and we will start missing them. So enjoying while it lasts!

Back to school

After a total hiatus from Spanish classes, I am back at it. And hopefully this time with no further breaks.

Spanish is a beautiful language. To me it sounds very calming. The best thing about the language is you just have to read it the way it is written. You can happily say "oo" whenever you see a "u". There is no confusion as in "cut"(cuh-t) and "put"(poo-t). Makes life  easier for beginners like me. But then there is this grammar and verb conjugation that takes a while to get used to. The verb forms are so extensive in Spanish that you have one for each person and for each tense. Multiply it with indicative - subjunctive - imperative - perfect type of sentences. Well, you can do the math. Sample it here. Although it sounds overwhelming, as with everyone language, 'practice with patience' is the key. And if I do that, one 'spanish' post will soon be on its way here!

Chey sal

Taking this cue for today's post.

I have changed A lot in the last 6 years.  I mean not just the horizontal biological ones but also the typical characteristic features.  Definitely a lot of them are positive (modesty?) and would attribute it to my better half and little one.

Have become more relaxed and enjoy life one day at a time. Though DH (my dear husband) connects it to my being jobless and at home, I think I have to credit it to my little one. He is my inspiration everyday. Not that I never get worked up - but I am more aware of my reactions and at peace with self.

I am more organized(!) and thanks to DH on that. I (shamelessly) admit that I started aping him. DH was/is very very organized. Period. And I was just the opposite. You can imagine how our initial days would have been. That needs a separate post altogether.

On introspection, although hard to admit, I am a wee bit more social, lot more fitness conscious(?!),  and a little less judgmental than what I was.  Liking for old hindi songs. Love for North indian food. Fluency in Hindi. Love for travel. I can see DH's hand blessing them all.

Eternal dreamer - Where are you leading me to ? Let me stop here, before it becomes a DH glorifying post (or is it already?)


 

Ant Spray!

After changing him to his night dress, I noticed that his night pant had a big drop of 'su-su'. Needless to say, he has been holding it for sometime. Once I showed it, he promptly obliged and relieved himself.

Me: Sid, can we change your pants? You don't want to go to bed in 'wet' pants.
Sid: Its okay mamma, it is just a drop. Don't bother.
Me: What if it stinks?
Sid: (sweetly)  It is just a drop mamma. I will not smell.
Me: (not the one to give up) And what if the smell attracts ants?
Sid: (very sincerely) Hmm.. then give me the ant-spray. I will use it and ants wont come near me. (Spreads his leg and shows me how to spray)
Me: !?!

We laughed a lot last night. And of course, he changed his pants too.

Getting fit and being there

After the trial room episodes, I am back to my walking schedules. And no doubt it feels great to get the blood rushing. I do 3-4 kms every day with some jogging in between. May be I should give the pinkathon a try next year ;-)

I was to write about my progress in trying to 'live in the moment' and had totally forgotten. I mean the writing part. I am definitely on it.. well at least most of the time. I do end up day dreaming or flash backing but then I notice the flow of thoughts and bring myself back to what I am doing.  As they say, only children live every moment and so are the happiest. It is a long way to go and will always be a work in progress for me.

 

Cooking and me

I never learnt to cook until I got married. Took a while to realize that noodles, dal rice and dosa making don't account for cooking. My amma used to say that  I can always learn to cook so why bother now. Learn it when you need it. The brunt of my cooking experiments were fondly borne by my dear and near ones. Those are few advantages when you are newly married. My mil totally supported me. All I did at my inlaws place then(even now) was scrape coconuts and pray that no one drops in when my MIL isn't home.
But I love to cook. Picked up a lot of recipes and tips from amma, mil and of course the internet. Have to thank my better half for teaching me to make phulkas. (He doesn't cook anything else). I still cannot make them round, but they are decent and soft.  My cooking became more regular (and bland) after Sid was born.

 After a few months of marriage, we invited our close friends for dinner. I decided to experiment chicken curry for the first time just then! It ended up with shreds of chicken pieces in a pool of water with some onion and tomato pieces to add color. Some of our friends really thought it was some kind of chicken clear soup. They tease me to this day. Once bitten, twice shy. Never ventured chicken on guests.

The first time I made puttu - it came out the way I added it to the puttu-mould - all crumbled and no where holding the cylindrical shape. The first kitchdi made for 4 - it was more of yellow rice with nothing in it. The sweet I first attempted was quite memorable. Asked my dear husband to close his eyes, taste and tell me what it was. He (who generally eats anything I dish out without complaints) was confused as to why I was forcing him to drink ghee. Took a while to convince him  that it was mysore pak.

The tea I brewed(!) first time at my inlaws (and this a good 2 years after marriage) was when my MIL was busy talking to some guests. I decided to help her by making tea for all. The decoction turned out so completely black that I was sure it wasn't tea powder I added. Enter mil to my rescue. She, being the kind person that she is, just smiled and sorted things out. Took one fourth of the decoction and made tea for all. Later she patiently told me that those were tea leaves and quite strong.

I can dedicate a blogathon to my cooking disasters. But let me stop here. Have come a long way from those days. I cook better (or so I think) and definitely do not attempt anything new when guests are around :)


 

Kites Kites everywhere

I was so busy reading other interesting blogs that I forgot it was 24 hours since my last post.

Wanted to record another first of Sid this week. Kite flying. Technically, it is a first time for me too, considering that my childhood kites never really flew high. Thanks to our neighbor friend who was a kite enthusiast and a kite flying expert (what do you call them? bought the required accessories and set up the kites in our apartment terrace. Again with all help from our friend, the kites went up and stayed there for a long time. The children took turns to hold the spool and control the kite. It was so much fun. Sid was excited and I was super excited to actually see our kites up on the sky. Amidst the fun I forgot to take the camera and ended up with this on my phone. I swear there is a kite in the snap!

 

 

 

Driving myself crazy

I got my car driving license when I was 19. And here I am a good ten years (and more ;-). Don't bother figuring my age) from it and yet cannot drive a car. After wedding, hubby who loves driving put me back in one of the driving schools with simulators and special instructors. The instructor there, was convinced I was better on the road than on the simulator. This was how I was 'better' on roads

•  I panic so much when I am driving that I stop at all the wrong places.
•  Drive uphill. Stop at a signal there and restart on green. This is one routine I just cannot follow. I find myself  holding on the clutch, hand brake, accelerator and steering tightly and wishing the car moves up automatically without sliding back to the next vehicle inches away from mine.
•  I stop when I see a crow on the road. I am not convinced it will fly away as I drive past. Remember my first teacher asking me if I plan to stay on the middle of the road until the crow finished his meal.
• Taking right turns and parking is beyond me. One guy at a parking lot, asked, if I understood what the word "parallel' meant.

People keep wondering how I got my license.We were four girls giving the test from my driving school that particular day. I somehow managed to drive the car from the school to the transport office. The guy who was to take our test came out and saw me on the wheels. Asked me to get out (convinced that I have driven it all the way) and asked the others to take a turn in the open ground in front of the office. We all got our licenses :)

Expectedly, after a few attempts I quit torturing myself and everyone around. I stopped driving. Now I don't even want to try. At least not in the near future. Never say never :)

 

Long day

Yet happy :) Had friends over for dinner. Cooked Noolputtu - stew, chappathi - paneer curry, Rice and dal. Onion, paneer and cauliflower pakoras for starters.

Now I don't bother much about how the food turns out. I just do my best and rest is the guest's fate ;-)
Have had really bad cooking experiences that I feel it cannot get worse. So take it as it comes!

The family who we met today was from Sid's school and we instantly connected and had a great time over dinner. Just finished wrapping my kitchen work and here I am blogging away :)  Time flies with happy people around. Here is a snap of the pakoras we had today. This was taken as I was frying.

My Amma

The one woman who I believe can do anything under the sun is my amma. Call me crazy.

From the little social exposure she had before her marriage, she has come a long long way. She is my role model. She was this super woman working fulltime in a central government office and still cooking Rice, curry and two veggies for lunch and an awesome breakfast for us (And all before 8am without a cook or assistant). I don't remember ever putting a hand/foot into the kitchen for anything.

She was very active at her office (even when it went against her). She did her bit of social service while still managing home and work. Took a break for a couple of years and was the fore runner in Adult literacy campaign in our town. Dad was very supportive in her social work.  She would do all the housework and leave the house by 8am. Travel to small villages with her team and motivate them to read through street shows and dramas. And how could I forget the science forums and consumer forums that she was so involved with. After all the travel, she would come home and cook us a wonderful dinner patiently. (Well, although I was a teenager by then, I was too busy inyo TV and books to notice all that she was doing).  I do remember days when I had been rude to her for coming home late. She would say nothing and serve us food. Don't ever remember her telling that she was tired or needed a break.

As we moved on to college and work, she took voluntary retirement from her office ( never from work). She started assisting my Dad full time in his business. She knows the inside out of it all now. Whenever she travels out of town, she makes it a point to buy something for everyone who works there.

She is multi multi talented. Saying Amma is a brilliant cook would be an understatement. She has this cabinet full of cookbooks and watches most of the cookery shows. She can manage to cook full meals even if twenty people turn up without notice. She was an excellent bharathnatyam dancer. Still plays her Veena. At the age past 50 she challenged herself to learn swimming and she did. She swims well now. Did I mention the baking, stitching, embroidery and handwork classes she goes to? She has done them all and is now busy with painting and pencil sketching. I never knew she could draw so well. Her Tanjore painting adorns our hall.

Despite her busy schedules, she will always take time out to help people in need. Infact we tease her for going out of the way to help people. Dad and amma struggled to bring us up yet they always helped others financially in whatever little way they could.

Until school, I only knew her as amma -The one who always works. As I grew up, I realized the power house that she was. She had to report to work the third day after she delivered her first baby and she did - to get the job she held for the next 27 years. She would do anything for us. She would never ever give up on us.  She would stand by us no matter what and never judge us. I don't think anyone believes in me as much as she does. Even I don't! She always ensures that we get the best of everything.


I don't have to tell this - I am what I am because of her. She made me independent in every possible way. (Including learning to drive 2/4 wheeler as she was adamant I do that and get a license when I turned 18.) The courage and will power (whatever little I have) is all from her. She is my pillar of strength. Even today, I turn to her when I feel down or to be motivated. Few minutes of talking to her and I am ready to take the world :)

Amma, a Thank you might belittle what you have done for us. Just bless me amma to be your child in every birth. Please.

I love you.

ps: No proof reading. Posting from heart.  On her Birthday.

Life saver food

Dosa thy name is life saver

- The only thing kid eats anytime of the day
- Papa loves it  (only have to make it paper crisp). Top it with fried gram chutney and you have no batter left for the next day.
- Me loves it  - Tasty, reminds me of home.
- Unexpected guests at dinner - server hot dosas with a quick sambar/chutney.
- Tired after office- get the dosas please.
- Home after vacation - just get the batter please.
- Fever/Upset stomach - Dosa madhi.
- Nothing for evening snack ? - Dosas will do.
- Extreme hunger pangs - Quick heavenly dosas to rescue.


And all you need is

- Dosa batter (always ready)
- Kitchen counter to sit on. (Dosas never travel to the table)
- Amma's red chutney (bliss)

Now, isn't that what you call  a life saver ?

Being a guest

Dad mom and my better half are all extremely social people. I call it extreme probably because I am called anti-social at times ;-) They love going to and getting friends over. I hang around with a few friends who I am comfortable with and it takes me a while to make new friends. Well, a lot has changed since marriage. Although my friend list hasn't changed hugely, I am quite happy being a guest and happier being the host :)

The first thing that I would look when I am at is the host of course. A happy host and family makes the whole process much easier.  When you are not happy having someone over, it shows. No matter how good the food is or how nice the house is. I have had dinner and lunch at not so organized homes and yet felt very happy. Nothing like the warmth of a house where people can laugh together and spend good time. One of our aunt's house is an example, they laugh and joke with us. Tell us stories from yesteryears. The whole house reverberates with happiness with all the guests. When you step out, you feel good and look forward to the next time you can meet them.

One thing I tell myself - my home should be one where friends want to drop in :) and have a good time.
 

Happiness is

- Cuddling up and playing with my little son
- Amma's hot dosas and sambar
- morning walks
- The chikki that Dad lovingly (still) gets for you
- Waking up with Sid listening to his little 'I love you's
- Cozying up with a book (anytime)
- A well turned out effort - be it the kolam on the door or the dinner that you make for friends
- Warm cup of Horlicks served in your hands

And lots more. Sleepy right now :-) so stopping here. Every minute spent counting the blessings are happy moments.

Trial rooms

It was another trial room terror day. Hubby dear lovingly took me to a shop to buy myself a much needed pair of jeans. How kind of him. (Well, he was planning to spend the rest of the day with his schoolmates so what better way to make me happy before he left? ;-) )

I started the ordeal with a size 30, I confidently walked into the  trial room(as it was the same size I was wearing that day, also from the same shop) only to find that I couldn't squeeze myself into it. Not the one to give up so easily, tried different shapes of the same size. They had the ultra thins and 'hotties' and  'bootilicious'.  Nope, none of them fitted me. And no, they didn't have any extra bootlicious.

I was quite convinced that the last year's size 30 was wider than this year's. Fashion statements! So gracefully moved on to 32. Picked a bright red top to go with it as well. Why hide behind XLs when you are sure you can wear a L?  Armed with the right jeans and a fitting top, I hit the trial room again. The pants were hardly reaching my waist. Had I tried more, they will have to be surgically removed. I meant the pants. Well, the top was fitting me. It was actually a little more than fitting. I was sure that I will need help to peel them off me.

After spending sometime looking at the twisted B figure on the mirror and the array of jeans lying around, I decided to try no more. I was out of the room, in my old jeans and disheveled hair.

Looking at my expression, Hubby kindly suggested that we move on to the next shop. Maybe this shop was for teenagers! He further encouraged me telling he himself wore a size 36 although he was so 'fit n fine'. I quickly looked for the exit and said we can try another day.

Left me wondering where I was with my vital statistics. I don't fret a lot about my shape as I conveniently hide them behind loose (ill?) fitting tops and kurtis.

Definitely time to hit the gym. Have been quite lazy on the exercises citing weather. Need to get fitter. No hourglass figures but no twisted B either ;-)

Another beautiful day

Little things make me happy. Early morning we went to a park with another family. The park was big beautiful  with tall century old trees. Sid, Papa and self enjoyed the drive and then the walk in the cold. Felt the freshness despite being all wrapped up. It is the time of the day when we connect to the silence inside us. The feeling that you are part of the miracle that is nature - Flight of pigeons and flock(company?) of parrots chattering off,  kids playing ball, runners probably planning the next marathon. We sat enjoying the sun and breathing the happiness around us. Our little one's peals of laughter completed the beauty :)

Live alone

Me: (Pointing to a beautiful palatial house) Sid, isn't that beautiful?

Sid: Yes Mamma. Why don't we buy such a big house?

Me: That needs a LOT of money Sid which we don't have right now. But when you grow and start earning, maybe you can buy one?

Sid: (Thrilled at the idea) Wow ! I can then live without mamma and papa in that house.

Me: !!

When will you die ?

Sid is quite interested in mortal talks these days. Sample this

Sid : Mom, when will you die ?
Me: I don't know Sid. Could be tomorrow or after a long time.

Sid : (After a while..for the 4th time) Mom, are you dying ?
Me: (Exasperated) Why are you asking this over and over again? You want to see mamma die?

Sid: No. But will you tell me when you are about to die ?
Me: I will try Sid. But why do you want to know ?
Sid: So I can hold you from behind so you want fall on the bed and die. (Well, his concept of death is lying down on a bed)

I was touched hearing the innocent and sincere reply. Love you to bits mon.

Sid-plies

Was off to a sale today and got a 'batman' night suit for the little one. Sid was over the moon when he saw it. He threw himself on me and said "Thank you. I like you soooo much mamma'. Holding him, I asked,

Me:  When do you not like mamma?
Sid:  When God will take you away. Hmm.. I will pray to God to not take you. He will tell me that you are a big boy now and you don't need mom/papa anymore. Tch-tch, But I will (try) tell him that I am a baby still so leave her for some more time. He sometimes will listen.
 Me: ?!

I was rolling on the floor laughing.

 

Unconscious

We went to the hospital last week to meet an uncle who was very sick. Sid was behind me wanting to  know why what and how it happened. Quickly told him that he was unconscious and so the doctors were monitoring him.

Yesterday he came up with this "Mamma, I think my tummy is 'unconscious'. Can we go to the hospital? "

I was unconscious by then.

Weather me

I am not a cold person. Literally. I cannot stand cold weather, cold drinks, ice-creams.
I prefer the warmth. The warm climate before spring/summer breaks. It ideally is the winter months down south. From where I come, the weather stays between warm, hot and hottest. Showers for a week at max.


Pleasant is when I don't bundle myself up or sweat like a sprinter. Clothes dry well :). Less health issues. All life forms look happy. And so do I.

Little Sid is just my opposite. He sweats when it is 18 c! Needs a fan even when it is (really)cold. Hardly needs or wears a jacket. People look at me as Cinderella's stepmom when I take Sid out in a T-shirt and me in a heavy jacket and hood. We are a scene when we sleep. I am in my gears down to socks and use the thickest blanket. Sid just sleeps in his pajamas.

It took me a while to understand that he was different and let him go without winter wears. Now I don't trouble him with my cold fears.

Stepping out

There are certain topics that I am not open about. Like achievements-bucketlist-regrets.. lot more. Maybe because these are emotions I keep generally bottled. Or maybe because one is not used to people wanting to know it. More reasonable reason  of course is the thought that someone might read and know you better!

Truly speaking, I feel a physical discomfort writing on such topics. A certain kind of tightness. So here is an attempt to let go and step out of my comfort zone.

There are two moments that stand out when I think of achievements. One was in my teens, I was part of Adult literacy programme. After a few months of coaching adult labourers(women working in salt pits) they started reading and counting. For us, literate adults, reading is probably like brushing. It is the most natural process.  But for someone who could never understand anything written, being able to read, is a liberating feeling.  They came up everyday with new things they read or found. It was such a memorable journey for all of us.  They could board the bus without asking anyone. Few started reading newspapers/stories/posters and counting the units in the bill. I remember one akka telling that she couldn't stop picking up rags to read them! That I could change their life in the tiniest way possible was to me an "achievement". I felt very happy.

The next and most obvious is the moment when I saw my little one the first time. The first thought that struck me was a sense of complete 'Awe' - 'Miracle'. And that I was part of the natural miracle was an achievement. Holding him was bliss.

Phew! Got it out :) 

Introspection - 2013

Looking back, the last year was good. I don't remember jumping in joy or wallowing in sorrow.

Few memories from 2013
1. Trip to Munnar and Coorg. Loved Munnar for its serenity.
2. Job change and hectic days for Papa.
3. Kutty Golu. Small get-togethers.
4. Homewards in November. Turned out to be a sick leave.
5. Started jogging for more than a mile. And it stopped there :(
6. Rekindled the love for kolam/Rangoli. They now adorn my doorstep for margazhi.
7. Read a few books - does 3 fall under few ?
8. Tried new recipes.
9. Tried to capture most of Sid's milestones here.

Rest seem to have faded into oblivion! So stopping it here.
 

Resolutions

Making and writing down the  New Year Resolutions was one more tradition I had followed for a long time. Somewhere down the line, the writing part was gone. Now the resolutions are gone as well.

The one resolve I do everyday (New Year or not) is to eat healthy and consume no/less/moderate sugar. And I pretty much follow it through the day, other than the times I gorge on sweets and binge on snacks ;-) So have decided to stay away from that resolve.

One other positive thing I have been trying for a while is to live in the moment. Minimal 'replay' of past incidents and no 'coming up' future shows in my mind. Just living that moment. Zen calls it mindful living. Have been reading the blog for years now and found it extremely helpful. Especially at workplace. Now I am a home bird and have all the time to think of everything else other than that moment. Maybe I should tie a ribbon to remind myself to be there where I am.

Will watch the progress I make on 'being there' and report next week.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to all ..or well to whoever reads this other than me.

I have my little one sitting right next to me insisting that I write his name first.  This blog is for you Sid.

This definitely is  one year when I zombie walked into the New day. Last day of 2013 was so tiring (read non stop snacking at relatives) that I could not keep awake till 12 to see the clock trickle into the New Year. That was one tradition broken. But New Years Day dawned with pleasant surprises.  I  met my cousin sister and her kids after a long time. We had a nice time catching up and kids played together. Sid enjoyed cutting cake and singing Happy New Year loudly.

We came back from my native today. I was about to hit the bed after a tiring 8 hour journey, but thanks to Ani, couldn't go to sleep.  I have promised her a post everyday. So pulled myself (Sid tagged along) up to write one. Now isn't that a good start to a wonderful year ?

As I am writing this post, Sid is entertaining himself by mock-pressing the clothes I had so meticulously folded. He is looking so innocent and cute, lost in his world, talking to himself.

Life IS beautiful with you Sid.